I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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