I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
tell me about the fingering
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