1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
