____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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