Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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