So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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