Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
