Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
