My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I could make wine with my vomit
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
