Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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