On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
