Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
