My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
