we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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