god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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