Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
