ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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