OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
