and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
