Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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