I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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