I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
