Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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