So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Randomize
