New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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