Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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