omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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