We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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