I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
