Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
