butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
