Define "chronic" masturbator.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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