Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
