Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My breasts were aching with rage.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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