I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
