Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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