I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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