Jerry, you need to find god
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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