I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
