Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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