my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Welp...herpes.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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