i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
