i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
