My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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