Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
soo... how was my night?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
