he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
