Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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