Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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