brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
