I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
send nudes
from the living room?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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