You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
