I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
