she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
