just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
