So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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