I love black thongs
I think I won the penis lottery.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize