I've blown a few things in my day
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
