Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
