; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
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He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize