she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
