Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
