Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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