can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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