Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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