hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
