It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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